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Garage Soccer

There's been a place holder on my index page for "garage soccer" for over 10 years (writing in April 2008). I apologize for the procrastination; thanks for your patience!

Garage Soccer is dedicated to the proposition that you don't need "official"-sized teams or fields for a given sport to have a totally satisfying experience with that sport. See my softball page, for example, where I argue that bowing down to the sacred four-base diamond makes most sandlot softball ridiculous.

In Garage Soccer, the goal is simply an open garage door.

Any number can play. It may be "every man for himself", or the players may lump together in any number of teams.

The playing field has no boundaries. (Of course, whoever kicks the ball over a cliff, or into a lion's cage, say, has to go get it.)

Scoring is very simply this: the last player who touches the ball before it goes into the goal gets credit for the goal. That may be the player who kicked it, or a player who deflected it or was grazed by it on its way to the goal.

As in all soccer, no hands.

Since there's usually a paved driveway in front of a garage door, try not to fall down on it like I did once. Yeowch.

Garage Soccer was developed and perfected by me and my brother-in-law Tom. Somehow Tom would always find his hand between the ball and where it was headed and blurt out, "You can't claim that was intentional!" before I could even say anything.

Garage Soccer is called Garage Soccer in all parts of the world, which saves me the trouble of putting "garage football" in the helpful keywords at the bottom of the page.


Garage Soccer brings to mind a game we played even earlier in life - Bike Soccer. Really, it was just a form of polo without horsies. The "mallets" were baseball bats, as you might have guessed. It sure was fun, but, to be honest, it may have had more in common with a demolition derby. If you want to play, I wouldn't suggest asking your parents for permission first - just do it.


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Helpful keywords not in the main text: tom hochheiser; thomas hochheiser; yeowwch; yeowwwch; etc.

Parents, if you're considering tutoring or supplemental education for your child, you may be interested in my observations on Kumon.