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Ben Sauter, a character, in his own words

"From deep depression to great self-satisfaction"

My earliest memories were of course the day of my birth which is normal because it was different. And swallowing a dime at 3 years old.

Then things were dull until I was 7 years old in the second grade. My mother had such nice flowers blooming around the farm house. So I gathered a bunch of flags. A beautiful blue flower that real dermotologists would probably call Iris. so I took them to my teacher and she put them in a vase on her desk. In those days your school work was graded A to F. So that day I got an F on one of my tests. So at the end of the day I went up and took the flowers home.

When I got home my father wanted to know whats going on. So I told him just what had happened. He said: You did the right thing Son. What you did is this. Those flowers you took to the teacher was an investment, flowers for good marks. And it turned out to be a poor investment so you got rid of a poor investment. Which is exactly what you should have done. I'm proud of you Son. You're a chip off the old block and you'll do well when you get to monkeying in the stock market.

Then in the third grade, I noticed when the teacher asked a question, all the ones who knew the answer would put their hands up and snap their fingers, but they would never get called on. She would call on some poor kid that was ducking down low and trying not to be noticed. And he would get it wrong. From then on when a question was asked, I didn't know the answer but I was first to throw up my hand. There was a method to my madness and it worked well.

I didn't move from grade to grade like the others did. Each year I had to get used to a new bunch of classmates.

In the fifth grade I was very popular. I was the only one in the class who had a drivers license. If a kid could get 15¢ for a gallon of gas, I'd drive him all over the place.

Then one day the teacher said: I'm going to spring a new word on you kids. The word is "fasenate". All the kids were quiet except me. I said I know all about fasenate, I'll even use it in a sentence for you. Well let's hear it Smarty Pants. I said I have a coat with 10 buttons, but I gained some weight and now I can only fastenate.

Then in the seventh grade, I made headlines. The country was preparing for war so they started the draft. I was the only boy in the U.S. to be drafted out of the seventh grade.

I did well in the army having 6½ years of education under my belt. In 4 months, I made Sergeant. Being so outstanding I was picked for officer candidate school. In 90 days I was a Leut. I used to make fun of all those guys who had to go to W. Point 4 yrs to get what I got in 90 days.


Contact Ben's fifth kid: send an email; view guestbook; sign guestbook.
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Helpful keywords not in the main text: benton sauter; ornithologists; west point.